You don’t matter that much
I know its a painful thing to hear but you’ve got to hear it. Not much because its true but for the sake of your mental health and to help you achieve as much as you can out of life. Sorry, but if the fate of the world rested on your shoulders we would all be fucked. You don’t matter that much.
And that’s okay! That’s preferable.
You don’t need to matter in order to live a meaningful life and be happy. In fact, being no one might be a good thing. How much mental anguish do you think accompanies having the responsibility of mattering comes with. If you said a lot then you are right.
A lot of these mental illnesses like anxiety and depression have their roots in people believing that they have to matter, that they need to have something meaningful going for them else they are just another waste of space, just one more being taking up a tree’s oxygen needlessly.
You don’t have to matter to be happy.
The moment you realize this basic truism, and internalize it into all your bones and lymphatic vessels, that’s when you’ll really start living. Thats when you actually can have an impact on the people and world around you.
It is when you don’t think your actions will have such an impact that you do start to take actual actions. The weight of the consequenses of such action suddenly seems so minute. Anxiety makes you believe everything you do will have some cosmic impact that will come back to bite your ass and cause all rainforests in the world to burn down.
At best, you’ll cause mental anguish to yourmother and your dad will look away and prefer his gazeti-wrapped meat and newspaper to you. You become your mother’s child. You still have someone!
You matter very little.
In fact, in a hundred fifty years, the only people that are going to remember you are your tombstone and the one next to it. That is unless you come up with some great invention that wipes peoples ass without themselves doing it so that you are remembered for millenia for having made the next best thing to sliced bread.
And, in all honesty, you probably never will. So stop whining and putting yourself down, anything you do will probably be forgotten in 10 years. Anything you do, unless you rape some 2 year old child and now have to spend the rest of your life thinking about it and answering the question ” what are you in for”, will be forgotten.
So start living.